Multiple choice
On contentment, maybe.
It is a Thursday morning. It is raining. I am on the couch with my laptop open on my lap, my mug of coffee, soothing music on a playlist. I am finishing up some edits on a grant, I am reviewing applications to receive some donor funds, I am prepping for an afternoon meeting facilitation.
Am I:
(A) Remembering how, not that long ago, I dreamt of a day when I could have a job where I could work from my couch with a cup of coffee and music while it stormed outside.
(B) Telling myself, good god, you haven’t gotten up off this couch all morning, what are you even doing?
(C) Somehow, both at once.
Isn’t it amazing, that (C) can be true? That I can, in one moment, be so grateful and appreciative for how far I’ve come and how I’ve been able to build this life I have, and in the very next moment, find something to criticize and get down on myself about.
It is now Thursday evening. It is no longer raining. I am back on the couch with my laptop open and music playing, while my husband cooks dinner and my legs pleasantly ache from my afternoon workout. I realize that I cannot hold onto (A) and tell (B) to shut up and go away. But what I can do, is tell (B) all about (A), remind it that I don’t need to always be finding something to be wrong to the point of needing to make up something to be wrong, and that for a moment, maybe, all I need to do, is to be content.
